Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Gotti's wife has had enough......but when is enough, enough?

Last nyt I turned on the T.V. and found yet another reality show had managed to find its way to the air..... "Gotti's Way 2," not that i ever knew there was a "Gotti's Way 1," but whatever! Anyways I tuned in and gave it at least 60% of my attention to find that it was actually a little interesting, not because Irv Gotti is trying to re-establish himself as a hip hop mogul, but because of the obvious serious issues between him and his wife.

O.K. so get this..... first of all they have been SEPERATED for 7 YEARS!! Yes, i'm being dead serious! Apparently he comes at the weekend, to spend time with his kids, they play happy familys for a few days then he goes back to be a single, childless bachelor on Monday morning.

If you think that part was bad...... it gets WORSE......When he comes home at the weekends his wife, Debbie, actually allows him to sleep with her. Now at first I thought this woman is just a damn fool, becuase she knows and he is pretty open, (on the show) about sleeping around. But after I listened to her session in therapy, where she described her staying as being less about wanting to be with him, and more about "being afraid" to move on, I totally got her and felt her pain...... Seriously i nearly cried....... and this is just reality T.V.!!!!

So here's the thing I think that the show is worth watching and more importantly I think that there are millions of women both young and old who can learn something form this. I think that when you are in a relationship where you are staying because of a fear of leaving it is very important to face that fact. Don't sugar coat it and allow false hope to lure you into a land of limbo where he controls how you live your life.

Ladies if your with a guy, "for the children" i get it, hell if my parents were to ever split up i know i would beg them to stay together, even though i'm an adult AND i know its selfish....... so i respect those women who are just trying to make their family work, for the sake of all involved. However I think there's a point at which it becomes destructive. If you get to the point where he is sooo comfortable with you being THERE, just there, at his will that he doesn't even to pretend that he's working at it with you..... then you need to pick yoursef up, look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is really how you want to spend the rest of your life??

I'm pretty sure the answer will be no, and after that, its just a matter of staying strong. I think you have to just remember that love shouldn't cost you your dignity and your happiness!

If on the other hand you don't have kids, and your just like I love him...... and he's treating you like this, openly sleeping with other women, you need to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself why exactly your still in that relationship? Please don't get it confused, if he cheats and you cheat and the relationship has "fringe benefits" for both of you...... DO YOU! but if on the other hand..... you get in at night and cry yourself to sleep, wake up in the morning and hate what you have been reduced to for love..... then i suggest that you write a list of all the things you are losing, missing out on and sacraficing everyday for this man...... then find a way out. Pin the list to your mirror and everytime you cry look at yourself dead in the eye, read that list......and you'll find yourself asking a new question: "Why am I crying?"

Hopefully you ladies and Deb will realise that a destructive relationship WILL destroy you! So you have a choice ......... be true to yourself ......or lose yourself!
Cherie Amour
**Pic courtesy of VH1**

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