Monday, April 27, 2009

Groupie love?

Before you read this post just know that if sex and celebs offends you........ u need to click the little "x" icon and get away from this blog posting. SEX and CELEBS are today's hot topic!!.......

So as usual i found myself without anything to do at some point between my bacon sandwich and my migraine, which is taking the piss outta my life at the moment...... anyway i stumbled across another blog, about groupies!!!

Although i am aware that groupies exist it never occurred to me that hearing there point of view would be so damn funny! If you haven't already i urge you to read the ones about Jim Jones and Jay-Z. I have no idea if they are true or false..... but they are fuckin hilarious!!!

From an anonymous female about Jay:

"he screams like a bitch when he busts. It's horrible. He has a big, humungous dick and has no idea what to do with it."

LMAO! Like i said i have no idea if this is true and i'm not sayin it is, but all i know is the tales had me in stitches! Especially the one about Jackie-O:

"She was like "suck my toes" I love it when a man does that. Of course, I did it even though I'm not really into that. After a few minutes of that, she turned in doggy style position. I was thinking I was about to get it in. Then she was like "now eat from behind". I did it, but immediately she was like "No, the other hole". I felt like I lost my manhood that night. She was so bossy."

If that don't have you on ur ass, crakin up i don't know what will.

Here's my thing though.... there are sooo many gurls that wana be groupies and follow these celebs around like they shit silver and gold, when in fact you may end up wid sweet FA.

Just cos he (or she) is a celebrity and dey look cute on T.V. or even in person, does NOT mean that they are shit when it comes to the bedroom. Dudes are dudes..... a celeb is jus as likely to be rubbish in bed as any other guy, hell they are probably more likely to be WACK, cos they have that status, and for some people that alone is enough!

On the plus side it appears that plenty of these celebs like to "go down" if you know what i mean so at least (if your smart) you'll get a little suttin out of it!

Anyway to all you ladies who fantasise about having sex with a celeb, or more than one celeb, i suggest you do your research before you giv it up for what could be a less than one minute buss and not even cab fare home!!

Oh and just in case you forget that celebrities are MOST likely to have those things called STD's i suggest you make sure that mofo wraps up!!! Although if he doesn't you may be able to sue him for assault or something!

Anyhu the lesson is that its not just regular men who are shit in bed.... celebs can be too!! Don't be fooled by the detailed lyrics or swag.......... looks can be decieving

If you have had any similar experiences feel free to share here or at the blogspot mentioned above..... if you have had similar experiences with normal guys that have been just as traumatic or possibly fantastic feel free to share those too.

Post it as a comment or e-mail me at:

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Celebs are taking over the world!!!!

OK is it me or are celebrities literally taking over the WORLD!!! Alright maybe that is a slight exaggeration but it is at least true in regards to the entertainment industry. So yea, your a music artist but why o why does this give you an automatic pass to be an actor???? I get it, there kina closely linked and maybe some artists are better at acting than making music, ....... or at least some of them are as GOOD at it. However I don't think i'm stating the OBVIOUS when i say that some of the artists jumping on the acting bandwagon OBVIOUSLY CAN NOT ACT!!! and really should not try! I say i'm not stating the obvious because clearly someone missed the memo!!!

Here's a short list of my problems with this whole thing:
1 - Some of them are WACK and the movie industry is suffering as a result..... which also has a detrimental effect on my wallet. If I PAID to go see a movie that was incredibly DOWNGRADED and............ in actuality RUINED by your presence........... you wasted my money........ u single handedly took the piss out of my life by messin wid a poor person in a RECESSION!!! which is unquestionalby a PROBLEM!

2 - If your an artist and your successful, don't you fink its selfish of you to take a role that some other poor sod, who probably when to acting school for 3 years and had to take countless humiliating roles just to get a foot-in-the -door, could have gotten!

3- I may like you as an artist but it doesn't mean i wana see your face all the fuckin time!!! (it's emotional !) I see on on MTV, then abc on an advert or something, i walk out ma house and your on a billboard, then........... i sit down with a bag of popcorn, some butter and a few packets of sugar i plan to dash all over that popcorn, just for good measure........ i take a deep breath, relax ma whole body................look up at the screen and.............. BOOM there you are AGAIN! seriously need i say more........... no!!! just no!!!! it is not OK for you to be the only thing shoved in peoples faces 24 hours a day.

4- Just to mention something i think some celebs are missing!!!............ there is such a thing as OVEREXPOSURE!!!! and its NOT a good thing!

This all comes from this whole thing about Rhianna being rumoured to be in "The Bodyguard" and "Charlies Angels." ..................... OK i've actually run out of things to say at this point......... the only thing i can think of is ...............WHY???? Meanwhile Beyonce hasn't stopped making movies since that whole jennifer hudson, oscar thing happened.......... (I haven't seen any of her movies, so i refrain from casting judgement, plus she deserves respect, at a minimum, merely because she manages to keep out of every kind of "drama" and keeps her private life private!) Anyway......

They all go yea its a natural progression..... but uh, actually its not! the proof is in the pudding i can name quite a few artists that have gone into acting and clearly NOT had a clue what the word ACT actually means............... just so your know...... acting does not typically include totally being yourself, with no display of different emotions and simply being in front of a camera ............. that is actually just another form of self indulgent reality TV!

Is it just me or is it totally wrong for these handful of celebs to be trying to take over the whole industry????????

I think that in this instance its the celebrities that could learn a lesson......... if you can ACT don't act! It's better to just be remembered as a really good artist rather than ......... "the artist that tried to be an actor then failed and had to go back to being an artist!! (all the money you made from the movies will probably go towards reversing the psychological trauma.............. via intensive therapy!! which = a total waste of time!)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Reality = BULL!!!

I'm sorry but i can't quite understand why we are at the point where the media of the day would rather put some nobody, who doesn't mind making a fool of themselves on national TV rather than using the airtime to actually do some good, you know like raise the educating level of our deeply fucked up and overwhelmingly ignorant teens.

NO NO NO instead they suffocate us with reality series after reality series, all of which aim and successful manage to provide us with absolutely NO USEFUL INFORMATION!!!!! (this is emotional for me) I can not quite understand why people like heidi montang and spencer pratt (really don't care if i've misspelt their names) are invited to public events...... like really what have you done to deserve a seat anywhere except jerry springer??!!

This whole trend of finding love on T.V. has me as confused as ever......... firstly why the hell does anyone give a shit if bret micheals finds love????? Was there a national survey that asked "do you give a rats ass if new york finds love?" i don't think so...... thus my question is WHY O why DO THEY CONTINE TO PUMP OUT THE SAME OLD SHIT!!!!! The hurtful thing is its so incredibily obviously that everyone on these shows is simply there to find FAME or increase record sales...... seriously im surprised how many people buy into this stuff.

Here's the thing that everyone seems to be missing, by putting these what-less, useless, permiscuious people on T.V you are doing two things: firstly.... putting them on T.V.!!!! which means that you are portraying a certain image........ people say that hip hop can corrupt people..... but i don't hear anyone complaining half as loudly about MTV and VH1 having a million and one shows that showing women being exploited and exploiting themselves..... fuck it i don't even care if they are being exploited.... cos most of them sign up for it and i dare say get off on the attention................... what does bother me is that the image of what a woman needs to aspire to to become.... newsworthy or at the very least "interesting" is .............dumb and willing to bear all on que or just say some shit that is sooooo retarted that everyone will listen out of pure shock and horror that anyone could really utter such garbage!

Secondly you are giving a voice to people who do not need to be heard! Yes i sadi DO NOT NEED TO BE HEARD!!!! no one wants to know how many dumb things some randm blond stripper can say in one sentence, no one cares (or should care) if some guy who can not string a sentence together is going out with an equally unimportant and underwhelmingly significent individual! These people say NOTHING of any value...... they use their status to do NOTHING good, (and if they d charity work i truly belive its cos their PR people tell them to) so why o why do we give them a voice????????? and continue to listen?? I know its entertaining for a second or two but in the long run the negative effects of this stuff is goin come back and kick us in the ass!!

Further still i fail to understand why even celebs who you credit witha whiff of sense (i shal mention no names) decide to jump on the band wagon instead of coming up with something..... anything mildly more useful and meaningful!

There is no lesson here to learn only my view that this reality T.V. foolishness needs to stop, someone needs to stand up and prevent this nonsense from becoming the "norm" before we av this shit showing at 6pm on nickelodeon or disney channel! cos im not even playin but the sexual content and expletives in these shows are ridicuous, ............... some of this shit is soft porn and last time i checked that should not be on T.V. before midnight or at least 11.00pm!!!!

I think some celebs need to take a leaf out of T.I's book and come up with an riginal concept that its entertaining as well as useful to the wider community! Stop being so damn lazy and just take a minute to THINK!

Twitter celeb-style

So you've heard of this thing called twitter right?...... O.K. and at the moment its the way celebs are communicating with their audience and in some people's opinion controlling their media. Anyways today i couldn't have been anymore bored and so have been following "ludajuice" aka ludacris on twitter. He has this whole "Battle of the Sexes" album that he's working on anyway i think its everyday he asks this random question: Today's was:

" Battle of the Sexes Q of the day: what is the worst thing you have done to get revenge on your Man/Woman when they made u Mad?"

The responses are a little crazy .e.g.
I got my ex fired from his job so he owuldn't have any money to take another girl out."

@ludajuice my friend told her ex he could go to eBay and bid like every1 else if he wanted his clothes and shiz back."

The thing that I find fascinating about this is that ludacris is actually managing to get people to actually come up with ideas and concepts that he can put into his own music and then sell back to them(with a reasonable mark up)!!! I have to say the man is a friggin genius! The benefits to him are two fold, not only is he getting all of these fantastic ideas, from other people, who will never get a penny for thier thoughts, ............he is also managing to reel people in and get them to anticipate his new album more cos they probably have a rough idea of what the material will relate to, thus feeling more connected to the music and a part of the creative process!!

Life-style Lesson:
OK so the lesson i'm learning form this whole thing is that all media and waves of communication can be used to benefit you. If you unsure of something put it out there and see what the universe via twitter has to say....... what's the worst that could happen???? I twitter and most of the time i say absolutely nothing that will make me money......... anyhu it's just a thought so atke it as you will.

The only thing i wana know is if people think this kind of stuff is good or bad for the public??

Personal view:
I think he's a genius for finding a way to broaden the amount of creative input he gets, so that his album makes sense to more people than it otherwise would. And quite frankly it can do no harm so WTF...... let it be!

My point is if you twitter at least do it with a purpose, not just for sake of it!!! Diddy, luda the lot of them all make money off this ish........... if you wana have that celeb-lifefyle i suggest you look a little depper and follow the money making initatives they exhibit rather than simply payin attention to the butt........ i mean shoes they be wearin!! ;o)

Cherie Amour

What it do.......?!

So i'm at the point in my life where I spend more of my time at a computer doing things i do not want to do, instead of being out and about enjoying life. This is, of course the point in a young woman's life when she beings........... to blog!!

I follow twitter and facebook, though myspace is a little too much effort for me, and I read alot about this celeb and that celeb and its all pretty factual stuff, just keeping you up-to-date with who's been where, said what and fucked who.......

I have to be honest i don't particularly care, but then again who really does! I think this whole obsession with celebrities is simply a way to disregard the problems and obstacles in one's own life and project your deepest darkest insecurities onto someone else. However, I must admit I'm at the point where i no longer wish to worry about my problems and thus i shall begin to deflect my own criticisms onto some one else via blogging!!!

This should be fun.........
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