Be a power couple!

So im flickin through some celeb news and i stumble across a couple that inspires me..... and unlike some (*coughs** Kelis n Nas) are NOT getting divorced (well not that i know of!).......Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith (pic by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) who were in Beverley Hills on Tuesday night at the Simon Wiesenthal Centre's Annual Tribute Dinner, along with the likes of Tyrses Gibbons and Charlize Theron.

See the thing I like about this couple is they are a power couple!! He is a strong, independent, go-getter, motivated man and she is a get-what-i-want, no messing, passionate, hard-working woman! Together this equals a power couple...... and you know what people.... the only way you can move up in this world and keep climbing that ladder, is to be with someone who is ready to help you to that next step and work with you to knock down the next barrier!

Here's my point, when your looking for someone to spend your life with, you need to see if they have the same goals you have...... no scratch that they need to have higher goals than yours!!! That way you know that the sky is the limit! It may be hard to understand or sound like im not making any real point when i put it this way.... but let put it in negative terms: If your with a guy that doesn't want to get his ass up and strive for more...... if he's content in that house, driving that car, having that job forever...... whilst you are fighting for a promotion when half the office are trying to stab you in the back and working in the mall so you can get that new Mercedes you've had you eye on........**NEWS FLASH** he is NOT the one for you.

If your a go-getter you need a go-getter.......... because your only aspiration should be, to be one half of a power-couple! (I'm not being funny but if your not that kind of a person..... gd luck to ya!.... cos lifes a bitch!) Here's the thing if you have to motivate him all the time...... that's energy that you could be using to better yourself...... essentially being wasted! (feel me?) Why would you want to have to wake someone up in the morning, when you could have someone wake you up and remind you to keep up the good work?

What i'm saying is that couples like Will and Jada will always be ahead of the game because two heads are better than one! As Neyo says "I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a FORCE when we're together.... la la la la la......you make me better!" That's the point!!! in a relationship you have to be with someone that makes you a better person..... a stronger person.... a more successful person!

Anyhu the lesson in this is that if your in a relationship where a person can not make you better, and i'm not talking material things...... im not saying he gotta buy you a car!..... what I'm saying is if when you look at him/her and that persons actions you don't feel motivated or like you can go the extra mile..... then i think you have to ask yourself if you are limiting your growth? and if that is the kind of relationship you want to be in?!

Be a power couple...... cos when your down, at least you know there will be someone to pick you back up!

Cherie Amour
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Gotti's wife has had enough......but when is enough, enough?

Last nyt I turned on the T.V. and found yet another reality show had managed to find its way to the air..... "Gotti's Way 2," not that i ever knew there was a "Gotti's Way 1," but whatever! Anyways I tuned in and gave it at least 60% of my attention to find that it was actually a little interesting, not because Irv Gotti is trying to re-establish himself as a hip hop mogul, but because of the obvious serious issues between him and his wife.

O.K. so get this..... first of all they have been SEPERATED for 7 YEARS!! Yes, i'm being dead serious! Apparently he comes at the weekend, to spend time with his kids, they play happy familys for a few days then he goes back to be a single, childless bachelor on Monday morning.

If you think that part was bad...... it gets WORSE......When he comes home at the weekends his wife, Debbie, actually allows him to sleep with her. Now at first I thought this woman is just a damn fool, becuase she knows and he is pretty open, (on the show) about sleeping around. But after I listened to her session in therapy, where she described her staying as being less about wanting to be with him, and more about "being afraid" to move on, I totally got her and felt her pain...... Seriously i nearly cried....... and this is just reality T.V.!!!!

So here's the thing I think that the show is worth watching and more importantly I think that there are millions of women both young and old who can learn something form this. I think that when you are in a relationship where you are staying because of a fear of leaving it is very important to face that fact. Don't sugar coat it and allow false hope to lure you into a land of limbo where he controls how you live your life.

Ladies if your with a guy, "for the children" i get it, hell if my parents were to ever split up i know i would beg them to stay together, even though i'm an adult AND i know its selfish....... so i respect those women who are just trying to make their family work, for the sake of all involved. However I think there's a point at which it becomes destructive. If you get to the point where he is sooo comfortable with you being THERE, just there, at his will that he doesn't even to pretend that he's working at it with you..... then you need to pick yoursef up, look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is really how you want to spend the rest of your life??

I'm pretty sure the answer will be no, and after that, its just a matter of staying strong. I think you have to just remember that love shouldn't cost you your dignity and your happiness!

If on the other hand you don't have kids, and your just like I love him...... and he's treating you like this, openly sleeping with other women, you need to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself why exactly your still in that relationship? Please don't get it confused, if he cheats and you cheat and the relationship has "fringe benefits" for both of you...... DO YOU! but if on the other hand..... you get in at night and cry yourself to sleep, wake up in the morning and hate what you have been reduced to for love..... then i suggest that you write a list of all the things you are losing, missing out on and sacraficing everyday for this man...... then find a way out. Pin the list to your mirror and everytime you cry look at yourself dead in the eye, read that list......and you'll find yourself asking a new question: "Why am I crying?"

Hopefully you ladies and Deb will realise that a destructive relationship WILL destroy you! So you have a choice ......... be true to yourself ......or lose yourself!

Cherie Amour

xcxcx

**Pic courtesy of VH1**